la douleur exquise

I've sat staring at this empty screen for 20 minutes. Large cappuccino. Room fan on full. A unknown song plays (fall to water washed away, all that water washed away). Someone else's things surround me and this room is not mine. My hair is blonde now and I've put on a few pounds, my yellow …

Burning Man

I burned a man in a wheelbarrow at the bottom of my garden as flames scorched and blackened he smiled he smiled the same as he did the day we met he smiled the same as he did the day we first made love yeah, he smiled just the same no pain did cross his …

Embarrassment and Madonna Cups

I had to go and lose my mind again. I was living my best life, drinking whiskey from a plastic cup with Madonna's face on it while dancing to whatever cheesy music played in Flares. I just couldn't help myself! I don't even remember why I did it. I haven't looked back through the messages …

What’s Left For a Lover?

If I could be in love with you My life would be ok But when you can't even love yourself What's left for a lover? Its probably always been you But right now everything around me is see-through Even you. And maybe I see my future held inside your ribs And maybe all my truths …

Stranger

You are a stranger At the end of the line, telling me not to apologise I'm a stranger Full of demons I know longer know how to hide Searching for a stranger Who still knows all of my secrets Praying to a stranger Still hoping they can keep it I can see a stranger looking …

Tornado Heart

you were a beautiful disaster created inside my tornado heart sorry to my lost lovers for the storm inside my arms I'd have held onto you closer if I knew that you'd survive I just hope you can forgive me and admit at least I tried

Casper

Ghosting. I've been ghosting all of you and all I can say is sorry. My readers, my friends and family, my past, my present and my future. Ghosting it all. I haven't posted in so many months that I almost forgot how to. Do I create one long post explaining the last few months of …

Janus

Autumn is breaking down While I'm still broken It all dies in the winter Yet I am already dead As my tears water my hopeful bones Nothing grows inside my head And I know That leaves turn golden And snow is always pure But my exposed and broken ribcage Is still holding all my hurt …

A Song For Lovers

(a new song I wrote) play me another tuneI'll be quiet in front of youjust one last melodybefore you goits been so long since I heard the soundof guitar strings playing outa song for the lovers, dearthat lasts a week a month a year.. play me another tuneI'll be quiet in front of youjust one …

Skipsea

Night time is creeping in, 8:18pm.Sat alone with my fake Malibu and tropical mix, cigarillos at hand and headphones on.The most beautiful songs in the world playlist playing in my ears, (one of the only playlists I had already downloaded before coming here.Still no signal no matter what I try or where I walk to …