Smoking a cigarette on the street just outside of Amwell Green, under the light of the moon I gave in. It was official, no turning back. I felt instantly lighter, like helium balloons and iridescent bubbles. My phone buzzed with the first like and comment and i smiled. I looked up to the sky and … Continue reading Helium Balloons
la douleur exquise
I've sat staring at this empty screen for 20 minutes. Large cappuccino. Room fan on full. A unknown song plays (fall to water washed away, all that water washed away). Someone else's things surround me and this room is not mine. My hair is blonde now and I've put on a few pounds, my yellow … Continue reading la douleur exquise
Burning Man
I burned a man in a wheelbarrow at the bottom of my garden as flames scorched and blackened he smiled he smiled the same as he did the day we met he smiled the same as he did the day we first made love yeah, he smiled just the same no pain did cross his … Continue reading Burning Man
Embarrassment and Madonna Cups
I had to go and lose my mind again. I was living my best life, drinking whiskey from a plastic cup with Madonna's face on it while dancing to whatever cheesy music played in Flares. I just couldn't help myself! I don't even remember why I did it. I haven't looked back through the messages … Continue reading Embarrassment and Madonna Cups
What’s Left For a Lover?
If I could be in love with you My life would be ok But when you can't even love yourself What's left for a lover? Its probably always been you But right now everything around me is see-through Even you. And maybe I see my future held inside your ribs And maybe all my truths … Continue reading What’s Left For a Lover?
Stranger
You are a stranger At the end of the line, telling me not to apologise I'm a stranger Full of demons I know longer know how to hide Searching for a stranger Who still knows all of my secrets Praying to a stranger Still hoping they can keep it I can see a stranger looking … Continue reading Stranger
Tornado Heart
you were a beautiful disaster created inside my tornado heart sorry to my lost lovers for the storm inside my arms I'd have held onto you closer if I knew that you'd survive I just hope you can forgive me and admit at least I tried
Casper
Ghosting. I've been ghosting all of you and all I can say is sorry. My readers, my friends and family, my past, my present and my future. Ghosting it all. I haven't posted in so many months that I almost forgot how to. Do I create one long post explaining the last few months of … Continue reading Casper
Janus
Autumn is breaking down While I'm still broken It all dies in the winter Yet I am already dead As my tears water my hopeful bones Nothing grows inside my head And I know That leaves turn golden And snow is always pure But my exposed and broken ribcage Is still holding all my hurt … Continue reading Janus
A Song For Lovers
(a new song I wrote) play me another tuneI'll be quiet in front of youjust one last melodybefore you goits been so long since I heard the soundof guitar strings playing outa song for the lovers, dearthat lasts a week a month a year.. play me another tuneI'll be quiet in front of youjust one … Continue reading A Song For Lovers