Another night another guy but every one-night stand is different…
I woke up this morning to a guy stood there completely dressed in my room and obviously contemplating sneaking out and I wouldn’t blame him, the details are already fuzzy so I can’t remember if I woke up on my own or if he woke me, all i didn’t have time to think so all i had in my head was omg omg omg, he asked me if he would need a key for the door and explained he hadn’t wanted to wake me and I kind of wish he hadn’t, I asked if he knew where he was going and he told me he had spent the last ten minutes figuring it out, I’m guessing using google maps, I was totally naked under the sheet and I suddenly felt really self-conscious in the daylight, I gathered it around me and walked him to the door, we hugged awkwardly and he thanked me for the good time and made his way down the street.
I waddled back to my room still naked wrapped in the sheet, having sex flashbacks the whole time, my mind desperately trying to piece together last night and most of all what had happened between the sheets! One of my sex toys was on the bedside table so I knew that had been used, that was something new for me, I hadn’t drunkenly gotten a toy out before. I started to remember more and more as I sat contemplating my own death but one of the things I couldn’t remember was if we had actually had sex or not! How? How could I not remember if I had actually slept with the guy? I looked for the usual tell-tale signs of sex and I couldn’t find any, though one part of me just knew, if you know what I mean…
His name, I didn’t know it, I hadn’t added him on Facebook either, I checked. Urgh why? Embarrassment began to creep in, what did he think of me? What would he tell his friends? Was he regretting it or was he glad it happened? I had to stop myself or I knew I’d go crazy and it wasn’t like it was the first one-night stand I’d had! I remember pulling this one guy, he was a great dancer and we had spent ages together on the dance floor, we hadn’t spoken much but the music was loud so I wouldn’t have realised and I didn’t till we got outside and began the walk back to his place, he hardly spoke any English and his two lesbian friends were translating for us both for the whole walk, the voice in my brain was screaming,
“get out now while you still can”!!!
But the danger in me kept walking, I arrived at a house in a rough part of town, there was this older toothless guy on the sofa saying something I couldn’t understand, and he retired to a room upstairs, I went to the loo, looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud to myself,
“what the hell are you doing?”
I came downstairs, the guy I pulled handed me some clothes to change into, again this was new for me! I accepted the t-shirt and we ended up on the sofa, after the deed was done I realised I needed to make my escape, the sun was coming up and I really wanted to be home but the thing was I didn’t really know where I was, and he couldn’t understand what I was saying, enter google translator! I typed and told him I needed to leave and asked where we were, he kissed me goodbye and I left, still in his t-shirt and my shoes in my hand.
I’ve had one-night stands that have turned into friends, one where his friend watched, some that I’ve had to see again because they had forgotten something, those are the worst, one guy who cried on me, so we did it in the morning instead, plenty that weren’t worth the hassle and one in particular I wish had stuck around!
You see, one-night stands are awkward, uncomfortable and not always worth it, so why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves through the embarrassment? Well the answer is simple really, SEX! We just love sex, sex makes people feel amazing so why wouldn’t we go get some! mostly because we are single (at least we should be) and don’t get it on the daily and granted most of the time it just happens by accident, but we don’t say no because its fun, its easy and there is no attachment or baggage! Each new person brings something new, leaving the door open to try something different for a night or in some cases the morning, learning more about ourselves, new likes, things we don’t like, and we can just get up and go in the morning or they can and just get on with our day.
So, next time you find yourself waking up naked next to a stranger, don’t worry, you’re not the first and won’t be the last and hey! If you had fun and no one got hurt, hold your head high (you just got laid) kick them out, sneak out or leave politely, smile and go enjoy the rest of your day!