I’m drowning in faces and I’m searching them for you, I just wish I knew who you were. I know who I thought you were but you never stay so I’ve been wrong forever. I need to get out of here, I need to rip open my chest and escape my cage.
You were taller than me once, stormy blue eyes sparkled like mine and I was bound to you like no other.
Your face watched me as I showered in awe, in love.
Everyone looks the same now and I cast my eyes to the floor, running, I’m running through the spaces in my mind.
Shorter now, so slender I thought you might break in my arms, skin so flawed and beautiful, brown eyes, so full of sorrow.
Your face gazed upon me with a longing so pure, so scared.
I’m scared now but you aren’t here, no one is. If I fall to my knees will you stay? can I stay? am I home? You see, I thought I’d found a way out but I haven’t. I need to see you in the faces. I need to find you in my dreams. I need you.
My saviour, I saw the world through your stained glass eyes. you fought so hard for me and I was blinded by you.
Your face I memorised with my fingers for 5 years.
Time doesn’t matter now, days dont start, dont end. Endless aching.
You filled my soul with laughter and kissed so softly I thought I would die. Hair as free as your spirit and you felt like home.
Your face always watched me walk away.
So many faces.
None of them are him.
I cant find him.
I dont know him, but I’m searching.