la douleur exquise

I've sat staring at this empty screen for 20 minutes. Large cappuccino. Room fan on full. A unknown song plays (fall to water washed away, all that water washed away). Someone else's things surround me and this room is not mine. My hair is blonde now and I've put on a few pounds, my yellow …

Janus

Autumn is breaking down While I'm still broken It all dies in the winter Yet I am already dead As my tears water my hopeful bones Nothing grows inside my head And I know That leaves turn golden And snow is always pure But my exposed and broken ribcage Is still holding all my hurt …

77 days

Absent for 77 days. Damn that's a long time! I wish I had a better excuse than the ones I'm about to make but quite frankly, I don't. Talk about writers block...I guess it wasn't a case of not having anything to say but yet having too much to say. So much so that it …

Hidden Messages

To my love, Never in a million years did i think I'd meet someone like you. The confidence you've given me and the hope you've shown me is something I can never thank you enough for! One day you'll read this note and i hope it makes you smile. One day soon we will live …

Delete

Delete One after another and repeat I watched our Christmas disappear first Your birthday vanished soon after With every hit of the button, the knot in my stomach tightened Delete I opened the file, Paris Emotions torn from my mind Faded were your eyes the whole time Gone now though to a place I’ll never …

The Conversation

Wanna sit here? It’s been a while I know.I’ve been busy being someone’s future.(sips coffee)It’s all so insane to me and I’ve never had this feeling before.He doesn’t mind that I speak my mind, he likes that.(looks down with a smirk)Almost fucked it up? Absolutely he did but we worked through that.Of course, I was …

Crying Wolf

Road cones and crying wolf We are driving through the dark Your hands are on the wheel But your teeth surround my heart And I am happy thought I’m crying Tears are pooling in my gut As I feel your eyes upon me Accelerator under foot.

Lemons

It's raining in both our towns now though that's not the only thing connecting me to you. See, I left my mind on that stone studded beach and my heart blocked out the sound permanently  and that night you drove to me through the dark I had to feel my way around you as you …

A Million Places

For me one of the worst parts of a break up isn't necessarily the break up part itself but the aftermath! Dont get me wrong I mean, all of the crying and the loneliness and the alcohol numbing, ice cream eating binges are always awful but it's the part after that I hate, the part …

In My Space

Stood against the brick pile in my back garden away from my Grandad's eyes, smoking his cigarette and drinking coffee from my mug, his hair was a perfect fuzzy mess and his eyes glanced upon the floor more often than they did up on me as he listened to me excitedly rabble on about total …