The Little Things

Car park views, cold coffee and grey skies Dry eyes for the longest time Chipped nails and a few extra pounds Smiles and laughter still surround Windowsill desk and no wall divide  No need for hearts to hide And it’s funny how we sweat the small stuff And let all the past ghosts haunt us …

I Am Ready

I am ready Breathing and alive Terrified Honestly, i’m still a little bit insane But the best people are right? Battle scarred from the car crash that is my life But i know you can’t drive Do I still need my seatbelt? Will I forget how the lows felt? A fighter all my life Will …

Warm Summer Rain

Everything going so well But my mind is playing tricks again That time of year again I'm falling into the well Of doubts and fears inside myself And I can't help but fear the end More than friends and more than hearts that mend He is warm summer rain Against my hollow frame Willing to …

The Man I Am

Sometimes I rip out my heart to watch it beat Because I no longer feel it's rhythm in me And when it's in my hand I go dance in the street To remember the feeling of ground under feet We're just bodies, we're just flesh and bone And my heart is the one in control …

Helium Balloons

Smoking a cigarette on the street just outside of Amwell Green, under the light of the moon I gave in. It was official, no turning back. I felt instantly lighter, like helium balloons and iridescent bubbles. My phone buzzed with the first like and comment and i smiled. I looked up to the sky and …

la douleur exquise

I've sat staring at this empty screen for 20 minutes. Large cappuccino. Room fan on full. A unknown song plays (fall to water washed away, all that water washed away). Someone else's things surround me and this room is not mine. My hair is blonde now and I've put on a few pounds, my yellow …

Burning Man

I burned a man in a wheelbarrow at the bottom of my garden as flames scorched and blackened he smiled he smiled the same as he did the day we met he smiled the same as he did the day we first made love yeah, he smiled just the same no pain did cross his …

Janus

Autumn is breaking down While I'm still broken It all dies in the winter Yet I am already dead As my tears water my hopeful bones Nothing grows inside my head And I know That leaves turn golden And snow is always pure But my exposed and broken ribcage Is still holding all my hurt …

77 days

Absent for 77 days. Damn that's a long time! I wish I had a better excuse than the ones I'm about to make but quite frankly, I don't. Talk about writers block...I guess it wasn't a case of not having anything to say but yet having too much to say. So much so that it …

The First Snow

The tire tracks his car had left upon my drive were still there by morning, I cried at the sight of them as I smoked a morning cigarette and drank my coffee. I didn't feel the morning chill clawing at my dressing gown nor did I acknowledge the pounding in my head as the headache …