la douleur exquise

I've sat staring at this empty screen for 20 minutes. Large cappuccino. Room fan on full. A unknown song plays (fall to water washed away, all that water washed away). Someone else's things surround me and this room is not mine. My hair is blonde now and I've put on a few pounds, my yellow …

The Story – boy from the grey

So a few months of back and forth later and I was ready, I had made the decision to leave college and make my escape from a life I truly hated, he had been driving down at weekends to stay with me but I needed more, every time he left it got harder and harder …

The Book – visual mess

Ok so I’ve gotten to a bit of a stale state of mind, I’ve really needed something a little more creative to sink my teeth into to kick-start my motivation so, I’m going to strip back the visuals a little from what I was originally going to do, unify the imagery throughout the book to …

The Story – false memories

It has been weeks now since I last saw your face, I pushed you to the back of my mind and for the most part it worked. Today I closed my eyes and my mind created an image, a memory that has never been, in this false memory you are there in front of me …

The Words – bathe

I bathe my bones in a bath of salt White foam bubbles through my teeth I wonder out to the place we met Sand and shells beneath my feet Seagulls cry above my head Sharks do circle around my waist I stand still in our meeting place Hollow eyes search for your face

The Book – i sank

This is a post about me, my right now. I took a break, or some may say I broke, maybe it’s both?  life got in the way or maybe it was a lack of life? Who knows, either way I needed to stop. Writing and putting this book together has not been easy, I dug …

The Story – stained glass

Rebuilding the walls after my first failed relationship took some time, I was so destroyed that for the longest time I almost didn’t realise that I’d actually been given one of the biggest gifts, confidence. I was stronger, I was a whole skill level up from where I had started, and things could only improve. …

The Words – hate me, please

Hate me Chew on my bones and spit me out  Make this easier for me You punish me with your kindness I know its love but hate me, please I punched a hole into your chest and ripped out your heart Are you not mad? Are you not bitter? As you tape your ribs back …

The Story – he was 53

I messed up, I had left it too long and then it was too late. I was on my bus to work when I got the call, I was the first to arrive and I sat alone. I felt so small. He was always alright, and he was always in and out of hospital so …